Testimonial: Releasing Suppressed Emotions Lifts Physical Symptoms

Lifting Off

While chatting with my mother-in-law over lunch she started crying and revealed pain and anger towards her deceased husband whom she had loved very much, she even seemed to feel guilty at having these feelings. While listening to her it became apparent that a visit with Siewfan may have been just what she needed. Knowing if I discussed this with my mother-in-law she would find a way to try and get out of going to see Siewfan. I made the booking and advised her she was seeing Siewfan and an appointment had been made and (taking a bit of poetic license to her protests) I was unable to change it as it was too late notice.

So I am driving her to the appointment and she is asking what is going to happen “It’s hard to explain” I told her, five minutes later she tells me “Well I am not going to say anything” I told her that was fine and she replied “but Siewfan will show me the door” I disagreed with her.

So after her session, which she stayed for the full 90mins, I pick her up from Siewfan’s office we are not even at the lift and she says “That was unbelievable” a little worried I probed her “ It was amazing, I never thought anything like that could happen” and Siewfan is such a nice lady. Smiling we chat and go to the car and as I am driving home I happen to look at my mother-in-law’s hand and they had visibily changed – weird I know, but they had, the skin and de-wrinkled and they looked young again, she and I were both amazed. So we get home and she goes upstairs to put her bag down and says “look at this” she is able to walk up our stairs without holding onto the rail and without double shuffling on each stair, straight up and straight down, with all the ease in the world.

I have been to Siewfan before and have had many wonderful experiences and releases to pent up emotional hurts from childhood, but after my mother-in-law’s experience maybe I should look to go to her instead of thinking about botox…..

LW, Daughter-in-law, Singapore

It is true and you would find it more rewarding than botox.

JW, Mom-in-law, Australia

Helping Friends through Grief

Angel of Grief, Sculpture by William Wetmore Story

In a word, don’t.

And I say that because unless you know what you are doing, you might cause more grief and hurt. Most of us get anxious around people who grieve because we are scared of loss ourselves, even if  we are not conscious of it. Most of us don’t know how to behave around loss and grief, even if we have experienced some personal loss of our own.

If you really want to help, just be Present for them. People have their own grieving processes. Everyone is different. If need be, you tap for your own anxiety and helplessness around loss and grief.

Some of the least helpful things to say when some one has lost a loved one:

Don’t worry, you’ll get over it, you’ll be all right.
It’s meant to happen.
Now you are the man of the house.
He has gone to heaven.
I know how you feel.
Don’t cry, it’s all right.
What did you do to make that happen…. why didn’t you….
Change yourself to change others….

If you have to say something, here’s a suggestion from someone who had recently lost a loved one.

“I dont know what to do or say but I’m here for you. I’m here to support you in the way that you need me to. I don’t have the answers and may be I’m scared that I will say/do the wrong thing, so may be I may seem uncomfortable. But I’m here for you.”

If you have some experience with personal tragedy, and have suggestions for people who want to “help”, please feel free to comment – what was most helpful? what was least helpful? how did you want to be supported?