Tag Archives: shadow

Spiritual Tapping Enneagram Type Two

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Heart Ablaze

This sequence is for Enneagram Type Twos who want to do deeper work on their personality issues. It’s been an especially tough one for me to write, maybe because as a Four, Two is my shadow & “missing piece”. I’m still not happy with it, but I reckon that those who are Twos can edit at will, and in fact I would be happy to hear from you, and add your statements to this so that others can benefit.

Please tap daily for about 7 days, either morning or evening, making sure that in each day, you find some quiet time for yourself to do this. Leave it alone for 7 days, then look at these statements again. You may have some new insights or memories relevant to the development of your Enneagram Type. You can tap on these or ask me if you need help.

If you are new to the Enneagram, EFT and tapping, please first refer to these sections:

EFT Basics

Tapping for Enneagram Types

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1. Please start the tapping with the point under your left shoulder (Reset Button), do 3 rounds of the following statements.:
“I am a caring soul, a loving person; it’s hard for me to recognise that I  have a basic fear of having no love in my life, of being unloved and unlovable, of finding no love in the world.

I have a basic desire to FEEL love, to be at one with love, to be a source of love in the world, to make sure that there is love in the world.

I live life in search of closeness, and maybe approval. Sometimes I feel the need to be loved, to express my feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to me, to vindicate my claims about myself.

Sometimes I’d rather not admit, even to myself that I have needs. I’d be ashamed to have needs, other people can have needs, but not me. I am the one who’s suppose to give love, not receive it. I am afraid that my own needs and negative feelings will harm my relationships. I’d rather just stuff it, and feel resentful that my needs are not important.

All my emotional upheaval, my longing, and upwelling is just my ego experiencing itself in my personality. BUT I am more than my ego, I am more than my personality, I am more than my emotions, I am more than my thoughts. I am life beyond boundaries. I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself, and anyone else who contributed to this situation.

In my heart of hearts, I know my essential nature, when I have intimacy with the truth of who I am. When I’m in touch with the depth of my being I experience only sweetness, innocence and love. Where there is sweetness, there is innocence, and I am bathing in the love of reality’s sweet embrace.”

2. Now just do normal tapping, also 3 rounds:

These are the statements that reflect the emotions, and you can change or add as you feel. Just don’t do too many at one time or you might feel overwhelmed:

Sometimes I give love to get love and approval, or I pretend to give love to get love and approval

Sometimes I feel like I have no needs, others have needs, but not me, I only give.

Sometimes I struggle to get close to others but still feel unloved.

Sometimes I need to be loved unconditionally by others and feel their love.

Sometimes I need others to toally appreciate my affection and sacrifices.

Sometimes I try to ‘well-meaning’ and make myself indispensable.

Sometimes I wreck my own health by sacrificing myself for others.

Sometimes I fear that the people I love will love someone else more than me.

Sometimes I fear that I am taken for granted and not appreciated enough.

Sometimes my value depends on someone loving me.

sometimes I manipulate others with my love and deceive myself about my motivations.

I have alienated the ones I love by being sanctimonious and high-handed.

I have reacted in rage and belligerence, and hurt the very people I claim to love.

I feel like I am driving people away.

“I’ve been reaching outwards all the time, not in touch with the turmoil within. I’m looking for love and approval outside of myself. I’m ruining the relationships I have by not seeing that I have issues. I’ve disregarded the love that I have for the love that I thought I OUGHT to FEEL. I’ve thought “you’ve changed, you don’t love me the way you used to. You don’t appreciate the sacrifices I’ve made for you.” I’ve sulked and pouted and acted up like a petulant child, still identify myself as one who’s loving, empathetic and sincere.

I now choose to acknowledge that I sometimes do not admit that I have needs and problems like other people. I am ashamed to admit I have needs. May be if I had needs, I would be unlovable. I choose to be in touch with my PRIDE and SHAME, and to experience that at the root of that are wounded children who need to be embraced.

I now choose to recognise my true feelings about myself and about others, and to notice when I am projecting on others.

My essential nature is LOVE and SWEETNESS. My true virtue is HUMILITY, because I am open to putting myself out there and saying that I have needs, I accept that I have needs.

I now choose to allow my inner children to express themselves, the ones that I have pushed into the back because I didn’t want to feel hurt and unloved. I choose to embrace them so they can heal. And maybe I could let some one else help me to. May be this person is already showing me their love in their own way.

I now choose to get in touch with my negative feelings, my shadow side, especially my aggression, anger, hatred, hurt, and SHAME. I become aware of myself as I really am – LIGHT and SHADOW. I deeply and completely, unconditionally and profoundly accept myself, ALL OF MYSELF. I choose to nurture myself and others, to be good to myself, and have goodwill for others.

I now choose to know that working on myself, and ensuring that I am the best that I can be means that I can be FULLY here. I’ve been running on an empty tank for a long time. Now it’s time to put petrol in the car, so that I can be FULLY PRESENT to my life, available for my family. I appreciate myself for getting the help I need, and doing the work so that I can be at the highest expression of who I am.”

3. Now do 3 rounds of this affirmations to get in touch with your true nature:

“I now choose to release the conviction that there is anything I can do to earn, create or get love, I can only to open to love… Love Is. Unconditional Love.
I choose to be in touch with sweetness, love….

compassion…
sincerity….
intuition….
lightness….
humility….
blissful solitude….
stillness….
joy….

I choose to experience the STILLNESS, SWEETNESS and HUMILITY within.”

Adapted from the work of Don Riso and Russ Hudson of the Enneagram Institute

Enneagram: Moving up the Levels of Development

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Up Stairs and Over Shadows

An educator said to me, “oh, we don’t do personality typing, we don’t  put people in boxes because we treat people as complete individuals….”  He’s got a point. If we do typing / profiling and just stop there, that is putting people in boxes. It’s can be pointless, unfair, unwise and even limiting. And just like any other tool, the Enneagram can be useful or not, depending on how we use it. How we use it depends on what we understand it is.

For me it is a framework and a map for getting to the highest expression of who we are, the best version of ourselves. It isn’t the simplest of frameworks to understand, and it doesn’t explain everything that a human being is or does. But it allows us to see where we are, and where we can be, if we want. This is where the Levels of Development, pioneered by Don Riso and Russ Hudson come in so handy. No one Type is better or worse than another Type. There healthy, average and unhealthy levels within each personality type. And on any given day, our sense of self fluctuate depending on what kind of day we are having and how deeply entrenched we are in our personality, how far we have been estranged from our true essence.  No one is a pure Type, nor do we not use resources of other Types or exhibit traits, attitudes and behaviour of other Types. As complete humans, we have all nine Types. It’s just that we “live” in a particular Type based on our Basic Fear, Basic Desire and Parental Orientation.

It doesn’t matter what challenges we are having, or what goals we have set. We can be in the middle of a life transition, working on a phobia, overcoming depression, lying in a deep trough on the journey to the dark side….. if we know our personality well, and we know the mechanism and the dynamics of the levels of development, we will know where we are along that continuum. And if we have the right tools we will be able to get from a less healthy level of development to a more healthy level. It doesn’t happen in a weekend, but for those who are on the path of self-development, self-awareness and self-definition, I don’t know a more complete or more useful framework than the Enneagram and specifically of the dynamism of the levels of development and other flowing aspects of the framework. And I don’t know a better book than “The Wisdom of the Enneagram” by Riso and Hudson.

Therefore the Enneagram is about finding out which box we are already in, so that we can find our way out of the box of our ego identification, to breathe the free air of our true essence. The tools? EFT, Integration, NLP….. come see me.